what do I do

am sorry yall that I havent written in a month but I am back on shedule now I am still alone and I am so sick of it sometimes But I am fixing to have a birthday which is just another day. I was laughed at because I am a product of the system and I have never had a birthday party. I just wish for a birthday that people give me a cake and jump out and yell surprise I know at 34 it to old to have a birthday party but I am just tired of being alone All of my other friends have their husbands and their boyfriends and here I am still alone. Is it to much to ask the Gods for just a date and a birthday party this friday. But who am I kidding no body is gonna want a frumpy plain jane who is a waitress and lives in a efficency I guess that I am just destined to be alone and spend my birthday alone